The Canterbury Inn, Seattle
J and G are joined by Natty Bumppo
N: In two places it says two cheese -- on the grilled cheese and the omelette. That's perplexing.
J: Now I want an omelette.
N: Does it say what the cheeses are anywhere? (searches menu diligently)
Waitress: Do you have any questions?
N: What are the two cheeses?
Waitress: Swiss and cheddar, but we could do swiss and mozzarella if you like.
Nat orders a bacon, blue cheese and cheddar omelette.
J: Heart attack on a plate. Two heart attacks on a plate.
N: I only have one heart.
G: (cringes instead of making a mean joke)
J: I think I'm gonna drop that class with the 2,000 page course packet.
N: But it'll make your brain big!
G: (stage whisper) He's a zombie! He only wants you for your brain!
N: A brain can be exchanged for goods and services. (looks at G writing) I don't think we need a stenographer here.
G: Look, who's the principal investigator on this project? I am!
J: What project?!
G: The interest of science!
N: (to J) She just wants your brain.
* * *
hi fi plays Tell Me Something Good
G: Let's all get drunk.
J: (laughs)
* * *
The waitress inexplicably brings a carrier of individual-serving jams along with the fries.
G: This has the searing heat.
J: Yes, we all know that is your turnoff.
G: That is included among my turnoffs.
J: That is your only turnoff.
Everyone boggles at an astoundingly stretchy bit of cheese which reaches almost all the way from tray to mouth. Jen puts the raw onions from her burger on the fries.
G: I don't really like raw onion, except as a prophylactic.
N: Why do you say that?
J: It's like with garlic. It makes your breath stinky.
G: These fries are nicely salty. They really don't care about our health. I like it. (tries the onion) It's sweet!
J: What?
G: (oniony flavor hits hard and she winces mightily) Moth'(er of) gaw(d)!
N: (disdainfully) That's what happens when you eat an onion!
J: Onion hater!
Waitress: Is it a good science project?
G: Excellent!
J: She appreciates the seriousness of this endeavor.
G: Of course! She has a nose ring!
J: You're implying everyone in Seattle understands what we're doing.
* * *
G chews a cinnamon stick from her hot cider throughout.
N: She's doing Hunter S. Thompson.
J: With a CINNAMON STICK?! Sure, Hunter Thompson LIGHT!
G: Hunter Thompson is rolling in his grave.
J and N: Hunter Thompson is NOT DEAD.
* * *
N delivers another classic line, and G arches an eyebrow at J
J: Why are you giving me the stink-eye? Can't we all just get along?
G: I didn't say nothin'!
N: This is good toast. Well-buttered.
J: (to N) Is this your first cheese fry experience?
N: We had some at Johnny Rocket's.
J: But there was no Gus there. No notes.
N: Cheese fries are cheese fries. I don't really see why they're worth eating.
J: (fraught look to G)
G: (writing on J's forehead with a finger) F-R-A-U-G-H-T.
J: (to N) I don't know you anymore. If I ever did.
G: (back to the remaining fries, which are cheeseless) We have a layering problem, here. And there's a huge mine of salt on this side of the plate. They seem to be making up for a lack of cheese with salt.
J: Shady!
G: I think that's margarita salt.
J: Kosher salt.
Despite her earlier big talk, G is not up for drinking tonight, leaving J alone to advocate getting margaritas.
J: Well then, I guess I'll just have a Pabst Blue Ribbon.
N: That's like the over-21 version of "guess I'll go eat worms."
J: (singing) Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go drink Pabst Blue Ribbon...