OK, I need HELP. In a total vacuum of input, I am panicking about graduate school applications. I have a week left for some of them. I have been working on them since July, and they just seem to get harder and harder as time goes on. I don't know if I'm picking the right schools (UCLA, Harvard, Teacher's College at Columbia, Stanford and UC Berkeley for education, with media literacy, technology, linguistics and anthropology subcomponents, in that order; UC Riverside for dance history; and UMass Amherst for communications, again with a media literacy focus). I don't know if I'm mentioning the right faculty I want to work with in my essays, or if I should become better acquainted with the work they're doing before I say I want to work with them. I'm also not sure if I'm saying I want to do too many things.
I'm worried that because I went to Hampshire and majored in writing and did a flaky Div III and was never, ever exposed to real theory in any of my stupid social sciences courses I will either be rejected for sounding unprepared in my essay or get into the schools and then be exposed as a halfwit when I get there. I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't bother with some of the schools because I'm not sure if they really have the program focus I want, but I'm not sure if I should narrow my prospects down any more.
I'm really worried that I've lost track of all the papers involved and I'll end up without funding as a result. (I'd be having an easier time with that if any of the goddamn Macs I have exposure to had Claris on them, so I could open the spreadsheet where I was keeping track.)
Almost any input would probably alleviate how much I'm suffering trying to get through this and will be greatly appreciated. Note to Evan: I don't want to hear from you on this one, because I don't need any more backhanded sympathy, thanks. I want to hear from people who know something about grad schools, from one form of personal experience or another. Grad schools in education would be a real plus. Thank you.
Posted by Gus at December 08, 2002 03:30 PM
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maybe not helpful, but Dorothea Salo has a site that's more of a general warning:
http://yarinareth.net/Dorothea/gradsch/straighttalk.html
Straight Talk About Graduate School
Sounds like it's something where it helps to have a good sense of emotional balance...like most of life.
Posted by: Elaine at December 9, 2002 2:28 AM
1. Don't panic. Everyone I've met -- really, without exception -- in my top-shelf graduate program has or had this same set of worries. A substantial number of people seem to make it all the way through a Ph.D. thinking at every moment that they are about to be exposed as frauds.
2. As far as I've been able to make out -- and this must not be true everywhere, but all the same, I think it's true a lot of places -- the "personal" statement/statement of purpose counts for *nothing*. Mine was terrible, because I have no idea what a good one would say or look like. At least in literature, the real writing sample -- a piece of scholarly writing -- seems to count for much more, as do the recommendations (and a Hampshire transcript, if nothing else, is a bundle of written descriptions of your work, presumably lessening the need for a separate letter to say everything).
More, perhaps, later, when I'm at my own computer and not running to class; but there are also some good links on this topic that I'll try to dig up. Look, in particular, for Phil Agre's long essay about grad school in CS, which is more generally applicable -- Lee Spector may link this from his site.
Posted by: Roger at December 9, 2002 1:04 PM
Intelligent people always have self-doubt. It's part of having that higher functioning brain that lets you see all the alternative scenarios where things go tits up. My ex just finished grad school for English Lit (H.S. Math teacher) and was certain from day one that she was a failure/out of her element/not as bright as the others. I think she was the only one surprised by her success. Anyhoo, good luck. (Not that you'll need it)
Posted by: Junie at December 9, 2002 4:43 PM